you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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