Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
