Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
