it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
