I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
two words: eviction party
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
