when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
