Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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