I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
