I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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