so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
