The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Who did Billy Mays play for?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
