Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
