My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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