Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
