did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
