fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
