he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
