Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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