She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
