My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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