if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
