I just pynch a tree in the face
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
