everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
