i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My ass is underappreciated
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
