either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
