I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
