you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
