So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
