Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
