we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
