Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
