They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
