I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
