i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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