Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
