He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
