So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
