I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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