It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
