My first STD was from a foam party
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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