I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
