remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
