I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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