Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
