oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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