I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
