really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
