no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We need to get me chipped asap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
