Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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