Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need moral support for this bender
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
