I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
