Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
