Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
