he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
