i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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